Losing it all

What a morning. First of all, I slept much longer than usual. The single-digit temperatures this past week have left me feeling somewhat "hibernation-al" (now that's a fun new word) as I burrow down into quilt and blanket. I got up, had a delicious cup of coffee as I embarked upon my prayer routine, and began as usual with a prayer of gratitude. Thank you, God, for health and home, faith and family, friends and strangers, work and leisure, opportunity and threat, hope and challenge, joy and... joy and... I know I need to give thanks for sadness and anger and all the other "icky" feelings. I know we are to "give thanks in all things," but it's hard, isn't it? I said the words out loud anyway, even if they were only half-hearted: thank you, God, for the pain and difficulties of life.

And then, as I turned on my computer to answer some emails, there it was. An overnight update that had restarted my computer automatically. I had finished a boatload of work yesterday afternoon and evening, and as I signed on, it was nowhere to be found. Only the older versions of the documents opened up. "No problem," I thought. "that's what the document recovery function is for." Alas, no. I doubt I need to walk you through what occurred after--I am willing to bet that anyone reading this has had a similar experience of losing unsaved data and can empathize mightily. Frustration, anger, regret--they all dominated the emotional scene for me this morning as I tried unsuccessfully to locate my work. Nope...I had lost it all.

Really, Virginia? You're really going to say that? You had "lost it all"? Hardly. I lost a few hours' worth of work--period. I sit here, typing on a laptop, heated in a workspace, at home on a weekend, immersed in the beauty of music and sunlight, and nursing another cup of coffee. I simply cannot--will not--abandon the gratitude that started the day for anything less than that, and certainly not for the paltry alternatives of frustration or anger. I have come to believe that maintaining an abundance of gratitude is the key to just about everything when it comes to true joy, and I refuse--I refuse--to lose any of it.